A duck walks into a bar...

A Duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Hey, you're a duck!"

"Nothing wrong with your eyesight," observes the duck.

"Yeah, but I mean... I've never seen a talking duck," says the barman.

"Have you ever seen a duck drinking beer?"

"No."

"Well you will as soon as you pour me one." answers the duck.

The barman serves the duck a pint and asks him, "So, what brings a duck like you to these parts?"

"Oh," says the duck, "I work on the building site across the road. We'll be here for a couple of weeks, and I'll most likely be in every lunch hour."

The duck drinks his beer, wiggling his tail happily. And just like he said, every day he waddles over from his job and has his lunch time lager.

The next week, the circus comes to town. The Circus owner wanders in for a pint and the barman tells him about the talking duck. "You should get this duck to join your circus," he says. "Everyone would love to see a talking duck." The circus man nods his agreement and the barman agrees to talk to the duck about the circus.

The following day, the duck comes in at lunch time as usual. The barman says to the duck (with dollar signs in his eyes), "You know, the circus is in town, and yesterday I was chatting to the owner about you."

"Really?" says the duck.

"Yeah. You could make a lot of money there. I can fix it up for you easily."

"Hang on," said the duck. "You did say a CIRCUS, didn't you?"

"That's right."

"That's the one with those big canvas tents, isn't it?"

"Of course," replied the barman, "I can get you a job there starting tomorrow. The circus owner's crazy about the idea."

The duck looked very puzzled. "But why the hell would he want to hire a plasterer?"