My night at the pub

Myself and my wife were talking and I said "You know, I was thinking of going down to the bar tonight and entering that big-dick contest."

"Oh honey," she exclaims, "I don't want you taking that out in public!"

"But sweet thing" I said "the prize is $100!"

"I don't care" she says "I don't want you showing that thing to everybody! That's just for me."

So I let the subject drop until the following night when my wife walks in on me in the bedroom, where I was counting out a hundred dollars.

"Did you go down and enter that big-dick contest last night after I told you not to?"

"Please forgive me, sweetheart," I said.

"You mean you took that thing out for everybody to see?" she says, tears welling up in her eyes.

I looked at her fondly and says "Only enough to win..."