Did you hear, Keith died...

One day, a bloke and his mate were in a pub talking. One man said to the other "Oh! I just remembered, did you hear that Keith died?" "What! Our mate Keith? No I didn't, how did he die?" asked the other man. "Well, he was driving up to my house to watch the rugby, but just as he was approaching my house he hit my garden wall and smashed straight through the windscreen!" explained the man.

"Geeze, that must have been messy." replied the other.

"Oh no! That's not how he died! He then flew through his windscreen and then smashed through my kitchen window, skidded over the work surface taking everything with him. He was there laid on the floor amongst the knives he'd took with him and was surrounded by shards of glass!" explained the first man.

"Ouch, poor guy." replied the second.

"Oh no! That's not how he died! He was still alive, he tried to grab the ledge to get up but he pulled the boiled kettle down and he was covered in boiling water!" continued the first man.

"Ooh, that's even worse" said the second man.

"Oh no! I doesn't end there! He tried to clamber to his feet but he slipped on the water and smacked his head on the oven. The oven door clicked open and a super hot pan full of boiling oil and roast potatoes came out and covered him, burning his skin off!" said the first man.

"God, could it get any worse?" said the second man.

"Oh no! That's not how he died!"

"Hang on! Hang on! Just exactly how did he die?" said the second guy, who was growing impatient.

"I shot him. The little bastard was wrecking my house and had ruined my dinner!"